Hossa Was Asking For This

Marian Hossa jumped ship after last season. It was clear that he wanted the cup and didn't think he'd get it in Pittsburgh. Not only did he take a pass on Pittsburgh, but he only took a 1-year deal. And, yes, it was with the Detroit Red Wings, who he'd just lost to in the finals while playing with Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins. But who could really blame him for switching sides? It certainly would provide him with the best chance of getting his hands on the cup before he hits the open market and then inks a deal with the highest bidder, whether that team is a cup contender or not. There is really only one scenario in which Hossa would probably feel like he made the wrong decision. And that would be if there was a repeat finals of last year, with him being on the Detroit side instead. Yikes. I know this isn't totally his fault, but he was clearly asking for it. If I was a Pittsburgh fan, I would've been fuming when he signed with Detroit (talk about a spit in the face) and now I would be even more worked up about this trader. Talk about the ultimate payback though. And lets be honest, as shown in the photo, Crosby spilled his guts in last year's finals with Hossa at his side, so if you think Crosby doesn't have any hard feelings, you're dead wrong. I don't care what type of neutral answer he gives in his interviews, this guy would love to see Hossa go down here.

In the end, imagine if Detroit loses the finals to Pittsburgh and you're in Marian Hossa's shoes. What a disaster. If that scenario does come to fruition, he'll probably sign with Pittsburgh again over the summer. Okay...not really...right?

The Most Interesting Man in the World

Man, I thought I was the only one who was into this guy. But he's becoming a phenomenon. This 60 or so year old guy is the center of a beer advertising campaign, and he's "The Most Interesting Man in the World." Talk about effective advertising, have you seen the commercial? Not only does this guy make me crave an ice cold Dos Equis, but every male who watches his commercial seems to want this man's beard, even though it's as prickly looking as a rusty razor.

It really is a great commercial that draws you into this guys life in only 30 seconds. I'm interested in this guy, you're interested in this guy...hell, by the end of the clip when he's just chilling with the women half his age I think every guy is infatuated with this dude.

Most importantly, will we be as accomplished as this mystery man by the time we are his age? I guess only time will tell. But in the meantime a slogan on a poster ad of his will guide us: "Happy hour is the hour after everyone from happy hour has left." Here's the commercial in case you've never seen it. Watch at your own risk. Stay thirsty my friends.



Oh yeah, and if you really, really love this guy...see here.

Malkin May Not Know English, But He Knows Who Britney Spears Is

***UPDATE*** Unfortunately this video seems to have "been removed by the user". I wonder if it was actually the Penguins PR staff who ordered it to be removed. In any event, you're going to have to take my word on this.

Oh boy. We can only hope this isn't real, but like they say, pictures don't lie. Unless they're artificially edited I guess. This is a video of a Britney Spears concert in which Evgeni Malkin seemingly is in attendance. There is really no evidence of who he is with and it doesn't look as though he is exactly happy to be there.

So why would Malkin attend such an event? Maybe he received the tickets for free. Or maybe his girlfriend dragged him there. We can't really see who he is with. Maybe he took his little sister. But that would entail him, first, having a little sister and, second, her visiting from their motherland of Russia. Seems very unlikely. What if Malkin is dating Britney?! It certainly would be a step up for her from Kevin Federline, right? I doubt Britney understands Russian though, so they would have to communicate through hand gestures. But a relationship with Britney would probably be better off that way.

Note to Kane & Toews: Wake Up Quick

I need to see Patrick Kane's birth certificate. This kid (leftmost) looks like he's young enough to hit pinatas at a birthday party still.

Now to the game, is this series over if Chicago loses tonight? It would certainly be a longshot to come back from a 2-0 series deficit against a veteran Detroit team. We all know by now that Chicago is deep and can get secondary scoring, but they wouldn't be here, nor will they go any deeper, if Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews don't show up for tonight's Game 2. The thing that baffles me is how they both didn't show up for Game 1. The only explanation is that Detroit shut them down, and I'll buy it. So the question tonight is what kind of new game plan the Blackhawks will have to show for themselves. According to Kane, "We think we have a better game plan for tonight". Well that's great to hear because he needs an actual shot on goal after going shotless in Game 1.

Was anyone else unimpressed with the Game 1 goaltending? The first two goals of the game were pretty lousy ones to let in. I'm going to be watching that in particularly tonight. There's really 2 major factors in tonight's game:

1) Do Kane and/or Toews make a difference? (if both do, then Chicago will win)

2) Do both goalies rebound? (if one steps up, it should be enough for that team to win)

My prediction is both goalies rebound well and have strong games. I think this game will be a tight one, with Chicago prevailing in OT.

Olivia Palermo Making A Move & Jay-Z's Big Head

Olivia Palermo is on the move. No, don't worry gentlemen, she's not leaving her role on The City, but instead moving job positions. I know this isn't that exciting of news, but there's not much out there right now. Except for the start of the Chicago Blackhawks vs Detroit Red Wings series that approaches us. But I'll save an article on that for next week. Back to Olivia, I don't really know of the place she is working at now, nor who her new employer is. But does anyone really care? Actually, I'm thinking MTV cares. And if I was a betting man, I'd say that MTV has a huge say as to who her next employer is. My guess is that they will have to pay MTV a nice sum for hiring Olivia and having their firm exposed on MTV's hit show. Anyhow, I just wanted to reassure you that she's not leaving The City, and certainly not moving from the lead spot on my top 5 list (to the right). Here is the text of the article:

Olivia Palermo, who plays a working girl on MTV's "The City," is getting a new "job" for the show's next season. The fauxcialite is leaving Diane Von Furstenberg's fashion firm to join Elle. The oft-photographed Palermo may be working in the magazine's publicity department. Her rep said, "I haven't heard anything about Olivia going over to Elle," but Elle had "no comment." An MTV rep said, "Olivia is currently still working at DVF."

In other news (if this can even be classified as news), who does Jay-Z think he is? The guy seems to think he is God. He recently performed at the University of Arizona and, in return, this was his list of demands:

• $750,000
• Black Maybach with tinted windows
• 72-degree dressing room
• And the dressing room must include: Sapporo beer, vodka, tequila, two bottles of $300 champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, one martini shaker, 12 shot glasses and Marlboros

The school refused to provide the booze, cigarettes and car. Can you imagine why?

Penguins-Capitals: 'Til Game 7 Do Us Part

Could this series have been scripted any better? Is this really going to Game 7? All we can do is sit back and enjoy it. I don't know about you, but all series I have been toying back 'n forth on which team I was rooting for. I have a feeling there are alot of you out there with that same feeling. The best advice I can give to you is to just kick up your feet and soak in this historic game 7. We certainly don't know when we will be treated to another Crosby-Ovechkin playoff dual again, if ever. Whether this game lives up to the hype or not, the anticipation for the game is at a peak. But don't fret, it should be a very tight game, and I would be extremely surprised if it isn't tied or a one-goal game heading into the 3rd period. From that point forward, your guess is as good as mine.

And one more thing, I think we need to give both Crosby and Ovechkin some serious credit for living up to the hype. They have both played at a top notch level throughout the series, possibly even more so Crosby. Sidney has completely outshined Malkin, which isn't an easy task. In my view, the media incorrectly put him in front of Malkin as the key for the Penguins success in the series, yet Crosby answered the bell, stepped up to the plate, and has been the team's MVP by far in the past 6 games. My question is - How are Crosby or Ovechkin possibly going to be able to carry their intensity into the next round after this series? Talk about a let down, at least in Game 1 next round. Enjoy the game tonight.

We Don't Know Jack

Jack Bauer, a.k.a. Kiefer Sutherland, is screwing up yet again. As you've probably already heard, the king of action television and star of the Fox show "24" has been charged with misdemeanor assault after a fashion designer claimed the actor head-butted him at a Manhattan nightclub. Supposedly it happened in the middle of a conversation Kiefer was having with Brooke Shields. If this is true, and it sure seems that way, what is Kiefer thinking? The only explanation was that he was seriously intoxicated. Which is a bit of a concern as well because he served 48 days in jail on a 2007 drunk-driving charge in California. Clearly this guy needs to get his head on straight. Could he actually be such a loose cannon that he thinks he can get away with Jack Bauer-esque moves in real life? I really hope not. But most celebrities seem to be a bit loopy, so I wouldn't be surprised.

If only we could get the actual video footage of this incident. I can see it now...Kiefer and Brooke Shields peacefully talking...and then some tool walks by, makes a comment, and absolutely gets shelled in the nose by Kiefer's forehead. An odd and stupid way to react for sure, but quite entertaining nonetheless.

Triple Whammy For Miss California

This girl can't catch a break. Darts just keep getting tossed at her, but how much longer can she dodge them? She was in the middle of gay marriage controversy, then it was the accusation that someone else paid for her breast implants, and now it's the circulating “semi-nude” photos. Welcome to the wonderful world of Carrie Prejean, more commonly known as Miss California. Lets rehash the events that have played out:

1. 1. In the Miss USA pageant, Miss California was asked by a panel judge whether every state should legalize gay marriage in the wake of Vermont becoming the fourth state to do so. Miss California's response? "Well, I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what? In my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be, between a man and a woman. Thank you very much." YIKES. And YIKES again. I'm not taking sides here, but no matter what she should have shut her mouth after her second sentence, and just left it at that. Key takeaway: Don't ramble on stage in a beauty pageant or else your IQ will be exposed.
   
   
2. Keith Lewis, co-executive director of the Miss California pageant, went on the CBS program “The Early Show” on Friday and said that before the Miss USA pageant (in which Prejean finished second by the way) his group helped her get breast implants in an attempt to propel her to the Miss USA crown. The controversy, from my understanding, is that a contestant can't have the procedure financed by someone else, but I'm not 100% sure. Key takeaways: 1) So what.
   
   
3. Pageant officials are stunned to find out that four photos are circulating on the internet of Prejean in her underwear with no top on and only her hands covering the exposed boobies. Supposedly this is the most serious of the issues, and she may have her Miss California crown stripped, but once again I'm not really too sharp on these pageant rules. But Prejean is desperately claiming that she was only 17 years old when the pictures were taken. Key takeaway: Is it better or worse if she really was 17 in this photo? If she's 18 then she violated contest rules, but if she's 17 then why is she doing lingerie photo shoots, let alone semi-nude ones? And what were her parents thinking?

What a debacle. How is this all going to be sorted out? I say who cares. The only person that should care about all this is Miss California herself. Because she is going to make a boatload of money off of this no matter what the outcome is. And good for her too. With the way things are headed in society, you may as well make some bang for your buck if the opportunity presents itself. I mean, c'mon, something tells me she doesn't really have anything else going for her.

How Can Nadal Possibly Lose?

This guy is unstoppable. Not even Federer can manage to slow this guy up. The amazing thing is that no one could have ever imagined making this statement 1 or 2 years ago. It appeared Roger Federer would prevail with pure dominance for many, many years. But clearly the tide has turned on him, although I do think Federer's game has declined rather than the competition catching up to him. Rafael Nadal recently won the Rome Masters tournament on clay, his specialty, by beating Djokovic in the finals in straight sets. Nadal has only lost one set on clay this year, and every indication is that he will win his record straight 5th French Open title.

Clearly Nadal is the best tennis player in the world, that's not arguable. But my question is if he will ever win the US Open. Nadal has never even made it to the finals and only once to Super Saturday's semis. The guy continues to be beat up and battered by the end of August year-after-year. He doesn't even play in more than two of the US Open Series tournaments leading up to the US Open. So what should he do to make a better run at Flushing Meadows?

He certainly can't get in any better shape, he is already in peak condition. I say he puts down the racket and takes his little hottie Spaniard girlfriend on a nice vacation right after Wimbledon, and get away for a couple weeks. Just a side note, but look at the rightmost picture and tell me Nadal doesn't know he's the man). Back to business - I think Nadal's actually done this vacation idea in the past, but obviously it isn't enough. After that time away, he should train off-court for a couple more weeks. Then slowly pick up the racket and start hitting some balls, play in only 1 of the US Open Series events in mid-August, and then train hard on-court for the last week leading up to the main event. I think this approach will fully rest Nadal's knees and relieve his mental stress, which will give him a shot at the tour's fourth and final grand slam of the year. Am I crazy? I think this approach would work for Rafa and allow him to give Federer a run for his money. To give that extra push. To at least make a run to the finals. But what do I know? I'm sitting here on my rear end in a cubicle all day.

What do Avery, Price and Phaneuf Have In Common?

The fact that Page Six of the New York Post is reporting that Sean Avery was spotted smoking cigarettes the other night in New York City shouldn't come as news to anyone. The guy loves to party, loves to be social and loves to be seen out on the town. What did you think he does? Sip on cosmos all night?

Meanwhile, Montreal "star" goaltender Carey Price was caught in this photo (to the right on top) in which he is enjoying not one, not two, but three cigarettes at once. Interesting. I guess you have to give him credit. Good thing he didn't have a game the next day. And pictured under that is a photo of Dion Phaneuf, seemingly very uninterested in what the blonde girl is blabbing about, and more concerned with how he is going to light his cigarette. Overall though, I don't have a problem with these guys doing it in the offseason, as long as it isn't during the season and isn't affecting their on-ice performance. Partying is what these young men do, they're kids. Especially in the offseason this shouldn't be a surprise, certainly not in Avery's case. And you are being ignorant if you don't think he rips a few butts occasionally during the season as well, I can tell you that firsthand.

Here is the text of the Page Six article on Avery:

IT'S officially the off-season for Sean Avery. The oft-penalized puckster, who was benched by the Rangers for Game 5 of their seven-game defeat to the Caps, was smoking cigarettes the other night with Catherine Keener and a gaggle of groupies in the Meatpacking District on his way to Daphne Guinness' birthday party for photographer Steve Klein at the new Standard Hotel. "He was wearing a tight black shirt, thick glasses and wide-legged swishy black pants," laughs a spy. "He looked ridiculous." Also in attendance at the party were Madonna and boy toy Jesus Luz, Ingrid Sischy, and Avery's ex Kelly Klein.

Naslund Retirement Bittersweet For Rangers

If it is indeed true, Markus Naslund has played his last professional hockey game. It is disappointing to hear because the guy deserved a standing ovation from the crowd before he skated off for the final time. But he is a good man, who is not only passing on his remaining millions of dollars on the second year of his contract, but also did not want his retirement to be a distraction in the playoffs. He had a great career and it is sad to see him go, if it is true. I think this picture pretty much sums up the caliber of hockey Markus has played throughout his life. I'm not sure how old he is here, but the men (rather boys) next to him are Mats Sundin on the left and Peter Forsberg in the middle. If they only knew at the time of this photo what they would become. Quite amazing.

For the Rangers, Naslund's retirement is bittersweet. They are disappointed to see him go. It is a slightly sentimental departure, and from a hockey perspective he did have 24 goals this year. But removing his salary from the lineup allows Glen Sather the financial capacity to now make a much more aggressive move towards a pure goal scorer we've all said that the Rangers desperately need. I still say that Kovalchuk should be pursued. Even if the guy wants long-term money in the range of say 5 or 6 years at $8 million per year, how could the Rangers pass on that? He is too good. The problem is that he will probably draw more money and a longer term elsewhere, so he would have to take a slight discount to play in NY, which I guess is a possibility but not a strong one. Anyways, we'll see what Glen has in mind in the next couple months, but for now, so long Markus. You had a great career.

Got To Give Versus "Commercial" Credit

I know I'm not the only one with this opinion, but the hockey coverage on Versus isn't exactly perfect. Everyone seems to have complaints, and the casual hockey fan can't even find the channel on their television lineup. But the one thing we have to give Versus credit for is their NHL playoff hockey commercials. They just seem to outwit themselves every year. The Rangers' Matteau commercial this year was excellent, although it clearly jinxed the present-day team. But their commercial that I just can't get enough of is part of their new "Look Up" advertisement campaign. Below is the video of the commercial. You gotta love the players' expressions. Make sure to have your volume on, unless you are at work. Enjoy.